Feb. 8th, 2013

lar_laughs: (Leverage - Parker waiting)
I was hoping to write tonight but I'm feeling very un-writer-like at the moment. I don't think I've written anything all week. I've read a great deal and I've worked even more.

The hair color... I don't even know where to begin. I was fine with it, enjoying the fact that it's different enough from normal that people notice and ask me why I'm blue (although it's AQUA, people! This is NOT blue.) and I can start up a conversation about the fact that I'm trying to raise awareness for childhood cancer research and shaving my head in an attempt to convince my friends and family to donate money to the organization that is sponsoring the shaving event. But then I opened up Pinterest tonight and THERE was the color that I wanted my hair to be. And of course the girl was skinny and slightly pretty. Now I'm all depressed and more unwilling to do anything worthwhile other than to curl up in bed and sleep some more.

It's a struggle for me to be so "out there" and noticeable. I'm the girl that sits in the corner at parties and waits for people to come to me. Circumstances have made me be more outgoing than the normal introvert but it's so very wearing on me. I'd rather just go through my day and get my job done and get back to the things that I love. Instead, I'm stared at and, in the case of some of the high school boys that came into the store for lunch the other day, laughed at. Oh, that made me good and mad and I got back at them by telling the next four people who asked about my hair as much about St. Baldricks as I could possibly squeeze into a breath. Yeah, revenge is sweet, my friends. :P

But I can't go back. I can only go forward. I can, however, go to bed now so that maybe this horrid week will be over that much sooner. 30 days from tomorrow is the day that I shave off my hair. I would really like to break the $100 barrier by then because it feels awfully foolish to do this for nothing.

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lar_laughs

September 2013

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