May. 20th, 2013

lar_laughs: (Arrow - Helena)
Today, I was going about my business, doing work-type things. You know, just everyday, run of the mill work stuff. All of a sudden, my brain explodes with this phrase:


And my muse says, rather smugly, "That's what the title of your Avengers angel fic will be called."

Funny how that happens.

I really should work a lot more and see if this doesn't happen all the time. *grins*

Also, I am so happy with the response to my last story. I have to tell you guys that I was really, really worried about it. I'm still nit-picky about the way certain parts came out (but I won't tell you what parts those are unless, well, you work with me and then it sort of all comes out when I'm bored and I tell you, ad nauseum, what I don't like about my stories) but that's water under the bridge because my motto is "You Can't Change What You Post On AO3 After You Post It". Seriously considering getting that on a crest or a tattoo or something.

But I was also scared of writing this because it's probably the closest I've come to putting myself in my stories. I'm that girl in the corner, struggling to look like she understands but she really doesn't and so she goes along with whatever is dragging her downstream and she's too afraid to scream, "STOP for a minute and let me catch my breath and UNDERSTAND." She lets people put labels on her that aren't true and there isn't anyone around to answer her questions because she can't just ask anyone because what if they get offended.

I didn't write any on the second story today because I was tired and this story is going to take a lot out of me. I want it to be as real as this one was. In a way, all three of these story ideas hit me upside the head and said, "WRITE TRUTH" and so I shall.

The internet is an amazing place. I'll never be at a place in my life where I will fit in. Oh, I'll mash my square peg into the round hole of this existence but it will never be an easy fit. It's what I've chosen and so I've only myself to blame. But the internet... man, you can show things here that you never show in real life. Not that I'm a different person but I'm more real on this screen than any other place. It's both scary and exhilarating. I wouldn't have it any other way.


lar_laughs: (Default)

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