A Lar by any other name

Changes. I has them.

2021-02-26T04:16:05Z

Whoosh! Another long time spread between visits. So much has changed. I'm back in Florida, this time for good. My best friend told me she loved me and I told her I loved her right back. We've known each other for 15 years but it took a quarantine to finally admit it. That and a freakishly appropriate Tayler Swift song. It was supposed to be a "we'll take this slow" but that was in August and I moved across country in October. It was quick but life happened and it felt right. Nothing official except for some matching black Harry Potter Deathly Hallows rings we wear on our right hands.

Sure, it's been hard and I'm adjusting to a new side of the country and a new town and a mother-in-law (of sorts) that lives with us. Oh, and part-time kids (she shares custody of her two children with her ex). And then there's the whole "finally telling the world that I'm queer and not holding it quite so close to the chest" thing that still has me reeling. Going from "I'm so Ace I should be in a deck of cards" to "okay, so maybe I'm more Demi then I thought I was" certainly was a shift.

So, that's me right now. I'm working on getting certified in Medical Coding but I don't know if it's me even though it's probably just nerves since I'm near testing time. I'm also getting back into writing more consistently. Allen Street has been blossoming in my head again but there are also some more "quickly publishable" ideas popping up that Ilex and I will be working on (hopefully soon).

:)

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Auntie Tech for the win!

2019-04-14T02:30:20Z

To my nephews and niece, I am known as Auntie Tech.

For awhile, I was just Auntie and my sister was Auntie Evil. When her hair is pulled back, it looks similar to the colorations and hairline of Syndrome from The Incredibles. Two-year olds are amazing at picking up on those similarities but they also don't remember names. Syndrome was evil so that meant my sister was dubbed "evil", as well. When they were two and three and four, it was a fine name and was a decent distinction.

Then the boys got older and realized we had names outside of Auntie but they couldn't remember them. Their mom and dad have long since tired of the "no, not that one. the other one" conversation and realized that our names weren't going to stick so they decided to give me a lengthened moniker. I'm the aunt that spends hours on FaceTime with them, playing Minecraft or discussing the ramifications of the new Spiderman suit on how well Peter Parker does his job or convincing two little boys (who are rapidly aging) that girls can be the strongest of the superheroes SO THERE! I think my brother-in-law was leery of calling me Auntie Geek so he came up with Auntie Tech.

I have spent the last nine years laying the groundwork of geekdom for the kids. It all started with convincing my rather straight-laced sister that being a geek wasn't all that bad. Instead of hiding my geekdom, I let it all hang out to the public eye. I took the boys to MegaCon when they were three and four, even though they don't remember it. They do both remember seeing Nightwing... he held the door open for us when we first entered the building and the boys were FLABBERGASTED to meet one of their early heroes. We mostly just wandered the main floor of the convention, soaking it all in.

Last summer, the boys came with me to a smaller, local comic con. The then 8 and 7 year olds were in their element. My geeky heart was overflowing. They also went to a smaller con in Florida as a family and the kids dressed up. My niece wanted to be Wonder Woman instead of sticking to the boys' Batman leanings (they wanted a theme!) so settled for Girl!Robin. Not Robin, she insisted. Girl!Robin. You could hear the exclamation point in her voice.

I have my geeks. I was pretty happy.

And then my oldest nephew decided he wanted to write an RP with me. "Do you know about RPs, Auntie?" he asked me one day as we were playing Minecraft. I did know about RPs but how did he know about RPs? They have a version on Minecraft that he sort of plays with some of his friends. Instead of playing make believe stories, they call it RPing now. My writing heart was bursting with joy.

"Let's play one," I exclaimed and we starting setting down the rules. It was a Minecraft world and it was very similar to the world of the Minecraft Story Mode. I thought I would have to guide the story but NO. My 9 year old nephew is a STORYTELLER to the core of his little being. And he's good!

Well, except for setting limits on his characters but, to tell the truth, both his character and the evil character are both pretty exceptional. So exceptional that we're confounded about how to defeat him. So that story is on the back burner.

And he's now writing Gravity Falls fanfic.

I want to nurture this but I'm so afraid of squelching the creativity. I want to train him without ruining him. It's lovely and nervewrecking, all at the same time.

My 4 year old niece loves Minnie Mouse and the Disney princesses... and she can name just about every Marvel character when shown a picture. There's nothing more lovely than playing Go Fish with the Marvel playing cards and hear her say, "Um... Auntie, you have Cappin Marble?" "I yike Yoki. He cute."

I have laid the groundwork for three wonderful human beings. I feel like this might be a mike drop moment.

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It's spring and I feel like journaling

2019-04-09T03:10:35Z

Just the other day, I stood up at work (back to the land of gray cubicle walls for me!) and announced, "I miss LiveJournal."

Since a good majority of people I work with are either millennials (who've never heard of LiveJournal and barely know that we once needed a place for journaling and oh, so much more) or oldsters like me (who went the family route and spend a good majority of the 2000s doing funny things like getting married and having kids), everyone looked at my blankly and I promptly sat down again, wishing I had a place to journal all about the events that had just transpired.

Because the world needs to know that I stood up and announced that I'm old. And weird. Can't forget the weird.

I was reminded of Dreamwidth a few days after this incident. Low and behold, I've looked in on my journal enough to keep it safe and sound and ready for me to come back. I've been in the world of yarn, sinking all my creativity into taking the crochet world by storm. Well, jumping into a puddle now and then to let those around me in the crochet world that I was there and doing things my way!

Right now, I'm working on a lot of unique fandom things like some new fandom (mostly Marvel and Harry Potter) inspired bags (that I still don't have good pictures of) and other wearables.

I've also fallen down the rabbit hole of Critical Role and the whole D&D experience that has filled the void of writing and also gave me a sense of where I belonged when I first moved to this new city, nearly three years ago.

Time has certainly flown. I'm definitely a different person. The online journaling experience is definitely a different creature than when I left it. I'm excited to see what happens next!

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Ideas?

2013-09-17T03:50:34Z

Does anyone know of any long-term volunteer opportunities that come with room and board? I'm looking for anywhere in the world, at this point.

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I have a sixth done... maybe

2013-07-20T23:18:24Z

The newest update on the Hawkeye afghan!

I apologize for the fuzziness of the picture but we spent alllllll day outside in the heat and I don't know if I could hold up my arms long enough to take the picture and NOT have them shake.

The large squares still need a few more rows on them but I wanted to see how they looked like this before I did those. I think I'm going to have to work them in but will still wait until I finish a medium square. Not sure how I like the small bullseye and may just do them as a ball of color. Not sure yet.

And guys. GUYS. You will not believe what was on my Facebook after I posted the pictures there.

My sister posted:

You ruined your birthday gift! I just started a Captain America blanket for you... I guess I'll just donate it now for some lucky kid

AND THIS WAS THE PICTURE:

My response was:

No! You wouldn't dare! This blanket is part of our geekery items and will be sold (probably to someone on my blog) after I show it to Mr. Matt Fraction! I get the Cap blanket. *grabby hands*

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Fic: Right On The Edge (Part 3)

2013-05-29T03:37:44Z

~~Right on the cusp of getting this in on time! Whoosh!~~ WHY DO I THINK THAT TODAY IS THE 29TH?????

I forgot the mention that I got a lot of ideas from this picture: OT3 - Kate/Clint/coffee

Title: Right On The Edge (Part 3)
Prompt: inside, leave, Quote: A photograph is a secret about a secret. The more it tells you, the less you know. -Diane Arbus at writerverse
Word Count: 1542
Rating: PG
Fandom: Hawkeye comic!verse
Pairings (if any): none
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con/Underage): some cursing
Summary: Clint's been worrying but Kate finally shows back up.

( Kate’s steps are slow )

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Fic: Right On The Edge (Part 2)

2013-05-28T06:32:40Z

Title: Right On The Edge (Part 2)
Prompt: Princess of China lyrics:
Once upon a time we're burning bright
That all we ever seemed to do is fight
Once upon a time on the same side
In the same game, now why'd you have to go
Have to go and throw it all in my flame
Word Count: 852
Rating: PG
Original/Fandom: Hawkeye comic!verse
Pairings (if any): none
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con/Underage): mild swearing
Summary: Clint wants an explanation for Bobbi's invitation

( Bobbi’s expecting the visit )

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Fic: Right On The Edge (Part 1)

2013-05-28T02:42:54Z

I'm trying to finish up the Table Of Doom for writerverse so I'm going to see how much of this story I can get out with the remaining prompts. I finally read Hawkeye My Life As A Weapon and I have so many Kate Feels!

I've also decided that I don't much like the few icons I've seen of Kate from the comics. Well, I like them but I'm not in love with them. You know? I've decided that I'm not much of an "comic as icon" person and need to have a real person in the picture. This means that I need to find a PB that I like as the character. Hmmm...

Also, I should state right here that I have no idea where everything else in Clint's backstory fits in with this particular comic universe. My comic knowledge is spotty, at best, but I'm taking the bits I like best (like Bobbi Morse) and running with it.

Title: Right On The Edge (Part 1)
Prompt: Place: The River's Edge and Tense: Present
Word Count: 1052
Rating: PG
Fandom: Hawkeye Comic!verse
Pairings (if any): none
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con/Underage): none
Summary: Bobbi asks Kate out for tea but this does nothing to sooth over any frayed nerves.

( It all starts because Bobbi invites her out for tea )

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The muse is getting feisty!

2013-05-20T02:38:45Z

I did a "This is what I have to do" email for Aster but never really made a list for myself. It's been muddling around in my head, getting me all shivery when I can't remember what I need to be working on (because the answer is always SOMETHING, after all).

This week:
-Finish up TBBT (Missy finally gets some say in her life) story
-Start (START!) the Sherlock (BBC) (Harry has a long talk with her brother) story

After:
-Map out Where Were They story for MarvelBang
-Consider mapping out Felicity and Diggle are awesome moments for DCBang
...rewatch finale to see if there's anything I can mine toward this end
-Start writing intoabar story (Felicity from Arrow & Todd from SGA)

Oops! I know there is something else there but now I can't remember what it is!

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Fic: Initiation Into This Life (Avengers)

2013-05-20T01:17:03Z

I've completed my first of three stories for queer_fest! Hooray!

Title: Initiation Into This Life (or: 5 times Clint told the truth and one time she didn't)
Fandom: Marvel movie!verse
Pairing/Characters: main: Clint Barton (female), Natasha Romanoff - secondary: Nick Fury, Phil Coulson
Rating: Teen and Up
Word Count: 5202
Prompt: Everyone else thinks Clint is a guy. Clint doesn’t really bother correcting them. for queer_fest
Warnings: hints at Clint’s less-than-happy beginnings

Author's Note: I saw this prompt and wanted to write it. I started writing and found myself in a darkness, wondering that I'd ever considered it. I asked hufflepuffsneak what she thought of the story so far and she liked it. Without the quiet encouragement, I would never have finished this.

Summary: Clint Barton has the Black Widow in the cross-hairs of her bow but stays her impulse as she realizes that this woman has seen things, in this first meeting, that not even the people who know her best have ever realized. I was told you were one thing, yet I see you are completely another.

Here at AO3

Part of this story was inspired by this art by Lettie (from Tumblr)

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All the pretties

2013-05-16T04:32:26Z

Okay, guys, I need some input!

The first two pieces of jewelry have been finished! I'd like to know 1) if you like it, 2) if you'd buy something like this and 3) if you look at it and think, "I like that but...". Are we headed in the right direction?

Both of these pieces are a sort of Inspired By jewelry. Not something that the characters themselves would wear but something that should make the wearer feel as if they're wearing something that has to do with their favorite character. But, at the same time, it shouldn't make them feel like a geek for wearing it.

I feel like I should point that these pictures are from my camera and haven't been professionally set up, at all. When they are put on to Beth's Etsy site, she will take professional pictures (one of her other talents) so they will look much better than these!

( Hawkeye )

( Black Widow )

Beth is working on a Thor's Hammer necklace and a Batman bracelet. I've been tasked with coming up with a star for the Captain America bracelet and the appropriate beads for the Hulk bracelet. If I can figure out how to make the DNA strand/toxin symbol in my mind for Hulk, I think I can make it into a necklace, too.

I'm trying to come up with something for Darcy (something to do with a taser, I think) and Jane (stars? or the idea of a starry sky?). I've been staring at the SHIELD symbol but that may be a little harder to make than I thought it would be when I first thought of it. I'm also trying to make the Widow's Bite into something decorative.

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Fic: First Kiss (MCU)

2013-05-11T18:51:10Z

The object of this challenge was to get a random word from the dictionary. When I saw my word, I realized I had the beginning of a story that would work well for the word. The first couple of hundred words of this had been sitting on my computer for awhile and I decided I needed to get it out and finish it.

Title: First Kiss
Fandom: Avengers MCU
Your Word: Contrite
Word Count: 2546
Rating: Teen
Pairings: Darcy/Steve
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con/etc): slight spoilers for Iron Man 3
Summary: Darcy likes Steve. Steve seems to like Darcy. So why is it so hard to get a kiss?

( ...a dating manual on how to go about dating an Avenger would have been nice... )

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Saturday Inspiration - Better Man

2013-02-23T17:36:37Z

We have snow today. Since I haven't had to be out in the weather for the past few days, I find I just don't care. *grins* That's the only way to appreciate snow.

Here is today's inspiration. I was going for something pretty but instead, I'm putting up something that is very multi-layered. You can take this picture/saying many ways. For real. Facetiously. With a smug look. With a frown. If nothing else, it makes you think.

Incidently, I love all the a softer world stuff. There is a whole fandom remix of some of these, too, and that makes me equally happy.

Go forth! Create! Be happy!

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Fic: Silence is Golden (Avengers)

2013-01-31T06:56:19Z

Title: Silence is Golden
Prompt: just before the battle and chess match at writerverse
Word Count: 586
Rating: Mature
Original/Fandom: Fandom (Avenger!movie verse)
Pairings (if any) (implied) Clint/Natasha, Steve/Darcy
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con etc): none
Summary: Tony always forgets the first rule of friendship with Master Assassins: Don't ask a straight-forward question and expect a straight-forward answer. Also, Darcy needs more practice verbally sparring with Tony.

( Just before the battle, there were things that needed to be said. )

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Why I shave my hair all the way off

2013-01-30T15:45:19Z

I've told you, over and over, how cool my sister is. She's probably one of my very favoritest people. This is more than partly due to the fact that she a pediatric oncology nurse. Yes, she works with kids with cancer. Because I understand a little about her work, working in pharmacy, I am privileged to get to be one of the people who she unburdens to. This, in itself, is a small miracle. My sister is one of those rare people who doesn't talk about the things that bother her. She holds in her hurt. Because of this, she suffers from a sort of depression in her down time. Nothing dramatic but I don't think she unwinds easy. Her heart, you see, is rather tender and she has to work to keep the iron bars that protect it in place.

I tell you this to share this with you. These are her words about why she shaves her hair for St. Baldricks:

As I get ready for my fourth year as a St Baldrick's Shavee I thought I'd take a look back at when it all started. I've realized that I've made quite a few new friends since that day. So here it is....

In November of 2007 I made a promise to a 5 year old named Arianna. One thing I've learned is that you don't get to go back on promises made to kids. I promised her I would shave my head. And so in Jan 2008 I found myself registering for my very first St Baldrick's event. Nervous, scared, worried, yep, those all described how I was feeling. And inspite of it all I was excited to be part of something so much bigger than myself.

Since 2002 I've worked as a Pediatric Oncology Nurse. I've cried with families, laughed with families and witnessed miracles. But I had always wondered if there was something more I could do. St Baldrick's gave me the opportunity to help change the face of childhood cancer. It allowed me to help bring more recognition to this group of diseases that often go untalked about, to help fund research, to help find a cure!

Everyday 36 children will be diagnosed with cancer, that is 13,500 ever year. 13,500! 1 in 5 diagnosed will die within 5 years. The simple fact is that the number 1 killer children only receives 4% of the National Cancer Institute's annual budget to fund research. That is 5x less than what breast cancer research receives. Let's face it, research isn't cheap! St Baldrick's is helping fill the gap between the government's funding and what is needed. And without us St Baldricks could not exist.

My first St Baldrick's experience was bittersweet. 2 weeks before I took the stage Arianna passed away. She was cancer free, thanks to a bone marrow treatment. But her body was too weak to fight off a rare side effect. As I came down off the stage, sans hair, I found her mom in the crowd.

She said to me "You know Arianna is looking down laughing."
I nodded, tears in my eyes. I would have expected nothing less from Arianna.

This is where I ask you to help me. I need help raising money. My hair for your donation. Feel free to share this with your friends and family to help me spread the word.

Why do I do it? BECAUSE IT'S THE LEAST THAT I CAN DO. For a woman, going without hair is sometimes seen as a shameful thing. Do I look good without hair? No, not really. I don't like standing out in a crowd but I dye my hair wild colors so that I can start a dialogue with people. It's tiring for the girl that doesn't like talking to stranger, let me tell you.

But I do it because I like seeing our honored children at the event. We lost two this year. They will be so missed, I can't even tell you how heavy my heart is. One of the honored children is 17 and in remission. He doesn't mind coming back to the site of one of the most traumatic events of his life, reliving his days with cancer, because he has friends who are still battling.

I don't want to lose any more children. If that means I'm uncomfortable in my own skin for a couple of months, so be it! I cry at the event every year. I weep like a baby most of the time. For my hair? For my vanity? For my pride? No. For the kids well enough to come to the events, all of them with smiles lighting up their faces. For the kids who aren't well enough to come but send a representative, usually a parent worn down and gray with the stress of having a sick child. For the kids who aren't there because they lost the battle.

Please donate. My link is right here: www.stbaldricks.org/participants/shelleyk2013. The organization has a good track record for using a good percentage of the money raised for research and not for administration costs. Most all the people who run the events are volunteers. This year, Mandie and I volunteered to be shavee coordinators so I get to use some of my Event Management skills, something I am super excited about!

And thank you! Thank you for stopping in your day to read this.

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Fic: Faded (Avengers)

2012-12-23T04:33:15Z

Title: Faded
Fandom: Avengers movie!verse
Prompt: sacrifice & pickle at writerverse
Word Count: 533
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Steve, Maria
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con etc): angst, mentioned character death
Summary: Steve has only ever really loved one girl and she died before he ever had a chance to tell her just how much.

( ...he's afraid of forgetting her voice... )

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Fic: Like It Doesn't Hurt

2012-12-16T15:24:52Z

Title: Like It Doesn't Hurt
Word Count: 386
Rating: PG
Original/Fandom: Original - Streetlight People character sketch
Pairings (if any): none
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con/etc): none
Summary: Pliya wants to do right by her people. (This is set before anything else that has been written and can be read without any knowledge of the story)
Prompt: for the writerverse Post Secret challenge

( Pliya knew a thing or two about being in charge of a nation. )

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A countdown of a sort

2012-12-04T07:07:57Z

Here's my stocking at fandom_stocking! Hooray for the holidays!

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Stuff

2012-12-03T01:08:36Z

An Alternate Avengers

This is one of those videos that I wish was LONGER! Unfortunately, you eventually run out of clips to use so it can only be so long. Still, this is a pretty sweet little fanvid!

Also something fun I found but keep forgetting to post:

As far as I can tell, this is from nicarrotrhythms on Tumblr. The creator? I don't know.

Some icons I've made:

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Gag Reel: How Can I Help You?

2012-12-02T06:00:01Z

This is the first of my Gag Reel stories (if you don't remember what that means, check out this entry), for both _samalander and sunny_serenity (who also helped me come up with this scene without knowing she even did it!).

The original can be found at AO3.

Title: How Can I Help You (Gag Reel)
Fandom: Avengers AU
Characters: Tony, Pepper, Clint, Steve, Bruce
Word Count: 886
Rating: Is childish a rating?

( Deleted Scene: )

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Winter is Coming... it is, indeed

2012-12-01T14:28:49Z

I have never been so thankful for rain! The very fact that it's December 1st and we're getting rain (have been getting rain for the last day pretty steadily) is a pretty big deal. The snow line is pretty high up so that even the bottom of the mountain isn't getting a lot of snow pack from this storm but what is getting snow is getting WOAH amounts of snow. When this storm warning is over on Monday, they say the snow levels will have a new THIRTY FIVE to FORTY THREE inches of snow. A thousand less feet and we would be trying to recover from something very similar. Thank you, rain. Thank you for being rain and not snow because I'm just not ready to dig out just yet.

Also so thankful that we haven't had a deep freeze just yet so that all this water has a place to go. I have to be very strategic about how I park when at home so that I'm not getting in and out in the huge puddle of water that dominates my parking area whenever there's any moisture.

My only hope is that the sun comes out between this storm and any freeze because the only thing I hate more than snow is ice. Ick! Having a base of frozen water under any snow would not be pretty.

The other day, my dad came into the kitchen where I was typing at the table and said, all solemn like, "Winter is coming." I really wanted to answer, "Don't say that unless you're getting HBO and I can start watching Game of Thrones," but he wouldn't have gotten the joke so I fell back on my typical response of "Shut up, Dad." It was a nice father-daughter moment where he reminds me that we get snow around here and I stick my fingers in my ears.

I'm attempting a couple of hundred words before I go down for coffee and sustenance. I don't know why my body woke me up before 7am but I decided not to fight it. *grins*

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These are the things that I want to do

2012-12-01T03:38:08Z

Weekend checklist:

Validate NaNo words - CHECK

Sign up for fandom_stocking - CHECK

Continue to work on SP or Aster will kill me

Start to get serious about fleshing out Christmas gift stories

Give the dog a bath

Throw away old flowers

Fold laundry

Rearrange the Corner of Terror

Rearrange bookcases

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Dreams do come true

2012-11-09T08:29:02Z

I got my Member ID for Comic Con 2013! I'm one step closer to getting to Comic Con! Hooray!

I looked through last years writer workshops/panels and I'm so psyched! Yeah, it would be fun to see the newest TV shows and movies but I'm excited at the opportunity to meet writers of some of my favorite books!

Is anyone else thinking of going next year?

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Here are my buttons and they have all been pressed

2012-11-07T05:04:09Z

I voted today. It's been awhile since I've voted. I think I voted in the election before last one. Personally, I'm not that impressed with voting for anything on a national level. You can NOT tell me my vote counted when it was done on a piece of paper an hour and a half before the election was called. On a state level, you bet it counted. That's the real reason I voted. I don't want the Education Props to even remotely get a foothold here.

But let me tell you about my ( small town voting story )

But I'm feeling very MUH about the whole experience. I wish you had known me in college. I was so gung-ho about stuff. I cared. Now I don't because I like to feel that I matter and I don't matter in these elections. Not really. Those four electoral college votes are all that mattered and they got voted on much earlier in the day. It's just depressing.

( and more ranting about political stuff ) And this will be the last you hear about it from me for another four years.

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lar_laughs @ 2012-11-06T21:19:00

2012-11-07T04:20:18Z

Tonight's moment of zen is my nephews!

( Man, those are huge! Let me put them behind a cut for you! )

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