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Let me tell you how great it is to live in a small town...
At about 4pm today, I decided I wanted to go see Avengers. Beth asked me if I wanted to go to dinner and I said, "You want to come to the movie with me instead?" That sounded like a great plan. She got off early and we went to see the 6:40 showing. On the Friday the movie opened.
But wait. It gets better.
I got off work at 5:30, did some light shopping and hurried the eight blocks or so to the other end of town. When I didn't see any sort of line of people outside the movie theater, I decided to stop at McD's and get a hamburger for dinner.
No, wait for it.
At 6:06, I walk into the DESERTED movie theater. The cheerful manager takes my credit card and the concession stand people just stared at me. The manager (who might in training as I don't know him and I know most everyone who works there on sight) says to me, "When you come back in, you won't have to come to the box office. You can just go over there." (points to the ticket taking podium) "They'll take your ticket."
I wanted to say to him, "Yes, I know that. This isn't my first rodeo." But then I started thinking, with all their eyes on me... they expected me to come back later. There was no one waiting for this 6:40 showing. There was no line. There was no crowd. It was just me.
So I went to my car in the nearly deserted parking lot and waited.
Beth got off about 6:30 so I went in the theater about that time. There was no one in line for a ticket but there were about 4 people in line at each of the three concession lines. I freaked out. Maybe everyone went past me while I was reading in my car. Maybe they all parked and walked to the theater and I didn't see them. Maybe they were already in their seats and I would be forced to sit too far forward for comfort. So I went in before Beth showed up.
Four people stared back at me.
Now, I will admit that between the time that I sat down and the time that Beth showed up (about ten minutes), the filled seats did triple in capacity. Someone even sat right next to me! Imagine that! Was the theater filled? No, by no means was it even remotely filled.
The movie starts. The kid behind us begins to narrate what is happening for his mother. I'm assuming that maybe the woman is blind because he's saying things like... "That's Nick Fury." Yah, think? They just called him that. I think your mom would have gotten that tidbit of information without your help.
He finally settles down somewhat. I'm enjoying the movie. The teenager next to me keeps wanting to put his feet up on the seat so he can wrap his arms around his legs. Like he's five and he's on the couch at home. And then there's shuffling around and TEENAGE GIRL comes to sit on his lap. My first thought was, "Oh dear merciful heavens, please do not start making out."
They didn't. Get your minds out of the gutter! But there was conversation that irritated me. Not the words but just the fact that there was conversation! In a movie theater! When the movie was like halfway over! She eventually moved (as she realized she was sitting on me as well as the boy of her dreams) and things were quieter (although she kept giggling, as teenage girls are want to do, every time the boy said anything).
The credits are rolling. Half the people get up to leave right away. They are stupid people who don't know that you must stay in your seat for the "Other Endings". ENDING ALERT: STAY UNTIL THE MOMENT THE LIGHTS COME UP. I'm just saying! Then some girls came to sit behind us. I think one of them was the girl who couldn't find a seat in the theater so had to sit on the boy. They began to giggle and one of them was hitting my chair. So what did I do? Part of me wished I had bought a pop so I could "accidently" throw it over my shoulder. The other half just decided to do the passive-aggressive adult thing and I casually planted my feet so that my chair didn't move. So what did she do? She giggled harder and TRIED EVEN HARDER to move my chair. So I showed her just how strong 38-year old legs can be against her puny stick legs. I won. Giggling stopped. Girls left. Beth and I left.
The End
Still, don't you wish you lived in a small town? Also, Beth and I swore once again never to go see a movie on a Friday night. We have to renew this promise to ourselves every year or so. I feel so old when I hear myself saying, "Damned kids!" and shaking my fist in the air. Okay, so I did it for affect but still... it hurt my pride a little to half-mean it!
At about 4pm today, I decided I wanted to go see Avengers. Beth asked me if I wanted to go to dinner and I said, "You want to come to the movie with me instead?" That sounded like a great plan. She got off early and we went to see the 6:40 showing. On the Friday the movie opened.
But wait. It gets better.
I got off work at 5:30, did some light shopping and hurried the eight blocks or so to the other end of town. When I didn't see any sort of line of people outside the movie theater, I decided to stop at McD's and get a hamburger for dinner.
No, wait for it.
At 6:06, I walk into the DESERTED movie theater. The cheerful manager takes my credit card and the concession stand people just stared at me. The manager (who might in training as I don't know him and I know most everyone who works there on sight) says to me, "When you come back in, you won't have to come to the box office. You can just go over there." (points to the ticket taking podium) "They'll take your ticket."
I wanted to say to him, "Yes, I know that. This isn't my first rodeo." But then I started thinking, with all their eyes on me... they expected me to come back later. There was no one waiting for this 6:40 showing. There was no line. There was no crowd. It was just me.
So I went to my car in the nearly deserted parking lot and waited.
Beth got off about 6:30 so I went in the theater about that time. There was no one in line for a ticket but there were about 4 people in line at each of the three concession lines. I freaked out. Maybe everyone went past me while I was reading in my car. Maybe they all parked and walked to the theater and I didn't see them. Maybe they were already in their seats and I would be forced to sit too far forward for comfort. So I went in before Beth showed up.
Four people stared back at me.
Now, I will admit that between the time that I sat down and the time that Beth showed up (about ten minutes), the filled seats did triple in capacity. Someone even sat right next to me! Imagine that! Was the theater filled? No, by no means was it even remotely filled.
The movie starts. The kid behind us begins to narrate what is happening for his mother. I'm assuming that maybe the woman is blind because he's saying things like... "That's Nick Fury." Yah, think? They just called him that. I think your mom would have gotten that tidbit of information without your help.
He finally settles down somewhat. I'm enjoying the movie. The teenager next to me keeps wanting to put his feet up on the seat so he can wrap his arms around his legs. Like he's five and he's on the couch at home. And then there's shuffling around and TEENAGE GIRL comes to sit on his lap. My first thought was, "Oh dear merciful heavens, please do not start making out."
They didn't. Get your minds out of the gutter! But there was conversation that irritated me. Not the words but just the fact that there was conversation! In a movie theater! When the movie was like halfway over! She eventually moved (as she realized she was sitting on me as well as the boy of her dreams) and things were quieter (although she kept giggling, as teenage girls are want to do, every time the boy said anything).
The credits are rolling. Half the people get up to leave right away. They are stupid people who don't know that you must stay in your seat for the "Other Endings". ENDING ALERT: STAY UNTIL THE MOMENT THE LIGHTS COME UP. I'm just saying! Then some girls came to sit behind us. I think one of them was the girl who couldn't find a seat in the theater so had to sit on the boy. They began to giggle and one of them was hitting my chair. So what did I do? Part of me wished I had bought a pop so I could "accidently" throw it over my shoulder. The other half just decided to do the passive-aggressive adult thing and I casually planted my feet so that my chair didn't move. So what did she do? She giggled harder and TRIED EVEN HARDER to move my chair. So I showed her just how strong 38-year old legs can be against her puny stick legs. I won. Giggling stopped. Girls left. Beth and I left.
The End
Still, don't you wish you lived in a small town? Also, Beth and I swore once again never to go see a movie on a Friday night. We have to renew this promise to ourselves every year or so. I feel so old when I hear myself saying, "Damned kids!" and shaking my fist in the air. Okay, so I did it for affect but still... it hurt my pride a little to half-mean it!
