lar_laughs: (huff pride)
Title: Heir
Character: Zacharias Smith
Prompt: 40. You're the heir to how many founders? at [livejournal.com profile] azkatrazathome
Rating: PG
Warning: Nothing but a rollicking good time and the desire of a young boy to get himself some... well, that word would need a higher rating, now wouldn't it?
Word Count: 393


Zacharias Smith liked the sound of his own voice. If given a choice, he’d much rather be having a good snog but he wasn’t getting much action these days. Everyone had heard his exploits and most had turned down his pick-up lines. What he needed was a new hook. Something that would really get him laid.

“You know, I’m the heir of Hufflepuff.” A couple of girls had fallen for that one. He’d offered to show them the true might of the House and they’d been suitably impressed.

When that line ran its course, he started off conversations by leaning forward as close as he dared and whispering, “Dumbledore won’t let me tell anyone but I really should be in Ravenclaw. I’m Rowena’s true heir.” It worked the best in the library but he couldn’t be bothered to hit on too many smart chicks. The glasses made it hard to get in for that first kiss.

For the Slytherins, he decided to do something different. Instead of telling everyone who would listen that he was the heir of their house, he started asking if anyone knew who the Slytherin heir was. He thought he was prepared for this, listing to himself all the ways he was more of a Slytherin that Draco Malfoy. When everyone started pointing him in the direction of Blaise Zabini, he found he couldn’t think of a single way he could compete with the tall, dark boy. There was that bad spot for a few days when he even found himself in a minor crush over the way the boy’s eyes slanted in that exotic way that made you want to kiss the corners. Not his finest hour but he got over it and started with the last, and perhaps the most gullible, House.

Ginny Weasley caught him in the last lie. “Gryffindor’s heir? Not likely. I’ve heard what you’ve been saying. You’re the heir to how many founders?” He was about to reply with a really good explanation he’d only just thought of when she clocked him on right on the side of his face. If it hadn’t happened at dinner when everyone was watching the drama rather intently, he might have tried again. As it was, he took his swollen jaw and wounded pride back to the drawing board. He would have to find a new plan.
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