Thoughts on writing

[lar_laughs]

So, yesterday was horrible. I haven't felt that particularly tender about my writing ability since... since... last November 11th. I swear, it's a curse of the 11th! I've had people tell me they outright don't like a fanfic I've written (not many times but it has happened) and I haven't gotten into nearly the funk I got in yesterday.

Why do people think writing is something that needs to be alone? How do writers even do that? I try to surround myself with at least two or three people I consider "first readers" when I'm writing originals. This has changed over the years but it's always two or three people I trust. I hand over the "pages" as they're written and I wait for feedback. Otherwise, how do you know what's working?

Aster told me she didn't want to say anything to me this year (we had a bad NaNo last year with me getting off track and she was afraid of jinxing it this year) but I assured her that I needed to hear things from her. Not edits but just general thoughts on how it was going. Between her and Beth, I have two really great readers who have given me AWESOME feedback. Nothing more than "Oh, I really like the way you took the character here" but I need to know what's working or what isn't. Last year, Aster said, "I"m confused with this part" and I ignored her. Hindsight tells me that's where the fic started not working. I'm not ignoring her this year!

My first readers are like a dousing rod. I'm looking for the correct path and they let me know when I'm getting close. Originals are such fickle, silly creatures. They can slip out of your grasp so easily! I always worry that I"m doing the story in my head justice. What if I ruin it? What if it's not good? What if... what if... what if.

But it's an addiction. I love fanfic but originals are what really drive me forward. To be the sole owner/creator/god of a world and characters and plot is heady stuff!

And yes, I did this post instead of writing. I'm still skittish about getting in my document today. *sigh*

Comments

[duskblue.livejournal.com]

I currently only have one first reader, but she's been my first reader since I was 17. OMG, that's 13 years. LOL. (and I only know her online!) It's great to have someone who knows the ins and outs of your writing throughout the years! And I agree that these readers are important.

I wish I had a 2nd one, but good ones are hard to come by... especially when it comes to original fiction. Finding someone who will read WHATEVER I write is hard. I'm glad I have one person at least! :D

[lar_laughs.livejournal.com]

I was lucky to find Beth who is a co-worker in RL. I talk about my writing non-stop but she was one of the people who pushed me to show it to her (in a nice way). She doesn't care for much of my fanfic but I do show her a few things now and then. She's been a god-send where this story is concerned. Seriously, she's getting a paragraph all her own in the dedications! She has listened to me moan about this thing for eight months and has offered such good advice and ideas that I feel as if I should give her 10 percent ownership!

Those types of people are very rare, though. I have people who will let me ramble one about my writing but very few will read it and then comment.

I feel very blessed on this project to have THREE people. Ipo is busy with a NaNo of her own and won't be reading until the other side of the month. And then Aster who I"m never letting go of for an instant! I'm keeping her FOREVER!

[gottalovev.livejournal.com]

I am sorry you felt insecure, but it seems you have great support, too. cherish it :)

I never tried original, I really admire that you go for it. stay strong!

[lar_laughs.livejournal.com]

I've gotten a little less insecure about my writing over the years but I think there will always be a little part of me that thinks this is all a game and another that is concerned that I'm playing it in the first place! Thankfully, it's a mood that comes and goes quickly!

And thank you for the encouragement! World building is daunting but it's the best kind of exhilaration!

[fififolle]

I rarely show my writing to anyone before I post it. I would be too terrified! You're very brave to take the crit first.
*waves pompoms for your fiction*

[lar_laughs.livejournal.com]

I've discovered that I have a pretty thick skin when it comes to crit. The downside is that I also have a pretty "thick skin" about normal comments, too. I love to know that people have read my stuff so that sounds weird but I respond to "acts of kindness" so I'm much more of a kudos girl. *grins*

My first readers are people I absolutely trust. I knew Beth for nearly a year before I even showed her fanfic. She had to go through a bunch of "tests" before I let her read my originals but she's proven to be really good at giving encouragement. Ipo latched on to this story and has been instrumental in making sure that I haven't stopped writing it. That's really important with originals because world building gets really daunting! I'm such a lazy person that I just give up and throw it into a file somewhere that I can't see it anymore and hope it stays there forever! Ipo has steadfastly refused to let me get rid of this story idea! If I didn't have Aster to edit my stuff, I don't think I'd be nearly as good a writer. She stretches me in really good ways!

I love all my readers but these three are my backbone!

[fififolle]

It's great that you have them :D

[lar_laughs.livejournal.com]

And it's great that I have friends like you!

[fififolle]

Awww! Yay LJ friends! \o/