Thoughts on writing

[lar_laughs]

So, yesterday was horrible. I haven't felt that particularly tender about my writing ability since... since... last November 11th. I swear, it's a curse of the 11th! I've had people tell me they outright don't like a fanfic I've written (not many times but it has happened) and I haven't gotten into nearly the funk I got in yesterday.

Why do people think writing is something that needs to be alone? How do writers even do that? I try to surround myself with at least two or three people I consider "first readers" when I'm writing originals. This has changed over the years but it's always two or three people I trust. I hand over the "pages" as they're written and I wait for feedback. Otherwise, how do you know what's working?

Aster told me she didn't want to say anything to me this year (we had a bad NaNo last year with me getting off track and she was afraid of jinxing it this year) but I assured her that I needed to hear things from her. Not edits but just general thoughts on how it was going. Between her and Beth, I have two really great readers who have given me AWESOME feedback. Nothing more than "Oh, I really like the way you took the character here" but I need to know what's working or what isn't. Last year, Aster said, "I"m confused with this part" and I ignored her. Hindsight tells me that's where the fic started not working. I'm not ignoring her this year!

My first readers are like a dousing rod. I'm looking for the correct path and they let me know when I'm getting close. Originals are such fickle, silly creatures. They can slip out of your grasp so easily! I always worry that I"m doing the story in my head justice. What if I ruin it? What if it's not good? What if... what if... what if.

But it's an addiction. I love fanfic but originals are what really drive me forward. To be the sole owner/creator/god of a world and characters and plot is heady stuff!

And yes, I did this post instead of writing. I'm still skittish about getting in my document today. *sigh*

Comments

[lar_laughs.livejournal.com]

I've gotten a little less insecure about my writing over the years but I think there will always be a little part of me that thinks this is all a game and another that is concerned that I'm playing it in the first place! Thankfully, it's a mood that comes and goes quickly!

And thank you for the encouragement! World building is daunting but it's the best kind of exhilaration!