![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Facebook takes on my life
Jan. 1st, 2009 03:16 pmBeing on Facebook has been... interesting. It combines two things I never thought would be combined. My real life and my online life. I know my online life is hanging on by a very thin string these days but it's still there. The history in this journal and the HUNDREDS of others that I have is extensive. The people in RL who have me friended on FB have known me for years. The two have never really met.
Until this week, I hadn't thought much about it.
And then I became a fan of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardery.
The people who don't really know me at all are raising their eyebrows at me. It makes me laugh. They think they know me!!! They think they understand what makes Lar/Shelley tick. Oh, how wrong they were! I still don't think they understand. This veneer of Shelley is... a mere shadow of the substance of Larinzia. There are times when I truly think of myself as Lar. She is a real person. She exists. Shelley is merely the shell I put on so Lar can walk and talk and breath and type.
But once again Lar leaks into Shelley. I convinced a friend to start reading Harry Potter and then watch the movies so she'll be caught up in July when the new one comes out. Now I'm trying very hard not to pull her in deeper. It wouldn't be fair of me to expect her to fill that void in my life. It's up to me to try to find a way to get back that part of Lar that I've lost.
I don't know whether to try to explain myself to RL people or just laugh it off. They won't care. Mostly, they're just confused because it doesn't make sense with who they think I am. If I explain, it won't make things better or easier or more interesting or even okay. These are people who think that writing a book must be "easy" even though they've never tried it. These are people who think that people who like Fantasy (reading, writing, TV, movies, etc) have a few screws loose. And most of all, these are people who are so stunted from living in a small town they don't try to understand anything that isn't "normal" in their eyes. It's either their way or the highway.
Thankfully, I live on the highway. I'm quite content there. Thank you very much!
Until this week, I hadn't thought much about it.
And then I became a fan of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardery.
The people who don't really know me at all are raising their eyebrows at me. It makes me laugh. They think they know me!!! They think they understand what makes Lar/Shelley tick. Oh, how wrong they were! I still don't think they understand. This veneer of Shelley is... a mere shadow of the substance of Larinzia. There are times when I truly think of myself as Lar. She is a real person. She exists. Shelley is merely the shell I put on so Lar can walk and talk and breath and type.
But once again Lar leaks into Shelley. I convinced a friend to start reading Harry Potter and then watch the movies so she'll be caught up in July when the new one comes out. Now I'm trying very hard not to pull her in deeper. It wouldn't be fair of me to expect her to fill that void in my life. It's up to me to try to find a way to get back that part of Lar that I've lost.
I don't know whether to try to explain myself to RL people or just laugh it off. They won't care. Mostly, they're just confused because it doesn't make sense with who they think I am. If I explain, it won't make things better or easier or more interesting or even okay. These are people who think that writing a book must be "easy" even though they've never tried it. These are people who think that people who like Fantasy (reading, writing, TV, movies, etc) have a few screws loose. And most of all, these are people who are so stunted from living in a small town they don't try to understand anything that isn't "normal" in their eyes. It's either their way or the highway.
Thankfully, I live on the highway. I'm quite content there. Thank you very much!
